A girl is free of tension once she gets married, And
A boy is free of tension till he gets married.
Have you ever heard this lines???
Guys, let me ask you- What you have thought about girls??? Guys think like- We are too happy marrying a stranger.. No way...
Atleast you guys wont lose your friends after marriage.. But we do.. You need not leave your house, But we have to.. You may try to change yourself to impress your wife, But we lose many things in life after marriage, and still we shouldn't express that, and should impress you...
And hence, I feel marriage will make a girl lose her identity.. And she should find new ways to make herself happy.. So I ask my mother to postpone my marriage as much as possible.. But society wont leave us.. They are behind us asking all sort of stupid questions.. As I dont want her to feel sad, I agreed.. But I shared my grief with everyone who are close to me...
And a worthy advice from someone I know well was( He is elder to me) "Go for love marriage".. Yeah, Even I thought about it.. My Mother is very open minded.. She said to me- "She's ok for love marriage, as far as the guy is from same caste and is of similar financial background as ours".. Is this the way we fall in love??? Leave it. They cant understand all these.. So that plan wont work..
Now I am in search of genuine reasons to postpone my marriage.. Am hearing rumours- The world will end by 2012.. Is it true??? If so, Why should I sacrifice my freedom and happiness in the last 2 years of my life by getting married... So my friends, what can you do for me is - send me those details supporting this rumour.. So I can make my statement more clear to my mother with evidence..
Please...
9 comments:
Why dont you think in a different way...get married to an elder son of a family and take him to your home...then you need not worry about sacrificing your comforts..
By the way who told you that only girls sacrifice after marraige..even guys sacrifice after marraige to some extend...
Let me share my point of view..guys should understand the mind state of girls and should be open for mutual respect...that will leave all your concerns in getting married...unfortunately most of the guys are not that open minded and are not ready to respect girls thoughts...
My last Point......
I agree to your concern that society plays a major role in our own decision making process..but you always have an option of migrating to another country where society is as open minded as yours..
Gud Luck...
Cheer!
Rony... :-)
someone said that there is only one real tragedy in a our life... that our past is always our first love or crush, and that our future is invariably a husband or wife. How true!
The problem is we dont put much effort in finding the right one... arrange marriage is often is soils its purity by bringing in religion, status, astrology, etc. What we should do is start choosing our soulmates with our ears open and not eyes! Let me tell you this dear... you got one life to live, why not live it your way??
Atleast you guys wont lose your friends after marriage- Not true..
You need not leave your house- sometimes you cant fight tradition.
You may try to change yourself to impress your wife, But we lose many things in life after marriage, and still we shouldn't express that, and should impress you- Not necessary. Marriages/relationships don't survive today if one does not express themselves. We are dealing with 2 different individuals with different characteristics and hence der cud b differences. Both have to impress for a happy life ahead, it cant be one way.
And hence, I feel marriage will make a girl lose her identity.- I say it gives you another identity, broader portfolio.
And a worthy advice from someone I know well was( He is elder to me) "Go for love marriage".. Yeah, Even I thought about it.. My Mother is very open minded.. She said to me- "She's ok for love marriage, as far as the guy is from same caste and is of similar financial background as ours".. Is this the way we fall in love??? Leave it. They cant understand all these.. So that plan wont work..Well sad
Now I am in search of genuine reasons to postpone my marriage.. Am hearing rumours- The world will end by 2012.. Is it true??? If so, Why should I sacrifice my freedom and happiness in the last 2 years of my life by getting married... So my friends, what can you do for me is - send me those details supporting this rumour.. So I can make my statement more clear to my mother with evidence..
This wont happen Sriji, Sorry to say that. Its only a rumour. It is just the end of the Mayan calender. Like all our calenders end after 365 days so does this after so many years. It is believed that there will be tectonic movements when it happens but not much proof. The fact that our earth is deteriorating slowly is true but I wouldn't say it would all be over in a jiffy.
U need to come up with something more rational.
Good luck
I will start a quote from Abraham Lincoln "And in the end it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years."
Sriji, let the world end world not end! Be happy in whatever you do!
I am happy because i am living my life as i want it!
"Sacrifice" - this is something important in LIFE!
You may have to sacrifice for Family or the for the one you love! Go ahead do it! In the end, all that matters is you being happy not at the cost of someone else's happiness!
All the best :-)
My support is always there!
Srini
di, change your blog settings
Agreeing with Sriji is like acquiescing to a cliché……She and I have often discussed this, which she had the mettle to put on paper. It is true, as much as we girls try; we are never able to retain our friends after marriage. Rather we are forced to make friends….whoever said that we can choose our friends, certainly wasn’t a woman. Forced in the sense, move only in our husband’s friends’ circle, have pep talk with his friends’ wives and try and build a rapport coz, unfortunately, if we can’t, our life would be difficult as he would never leave a friend coz his wife isn’t congenial but would ask us to severe ties with a friend whose husband isn’t.
Man hasn’t and would never understand how it feels to leave your family, friends and life behind dependent on and trusting a single individual-a complete stranger….I have often told my friends that marriage is a gamble. But do not take me otherwise, I have been there, done that and come out with flying colors. I always knew that my parents know me best. I got married (arranged) to a man who seems to have walked out of Mills and Boons right into my life-tall, tanned, handsome, loving, caring, settled in life with great SOH. What more can you ask for….. a life maybe, my life, to be with my ailing parents or for them to be there when I am sick, enjoy my brother’s success, play with my new born niece...Much before our marriage, our life starts revolving around the word itself, I needn't elaborate.
People around us tend to forget another important point and that is our career. We are like beggars who can’t be choosers, wherever our hubby dear goes, we follow like a doting puppy. Also, accept his relations as ours. How many of you, men, can cross their hearts and say that you have accepted your wife’s relations as yours and your mother thinks that your wife is another daughter or would be able to say that your wife or mom-in-law cooks better than your mother or have your ever said, “lets go to your parents’ place this time”. Still, do we get anything that we deserve?
I married an intelligent, successful and compatible man….many would ask, do I really have the right to comment on Sriji’s blog? I’d say, judge for yourself.
umm interesting trail of thoughts.
I feel this is a debate which will have no outcome whatsoever.
As we cannot generalise Men or Women on this area of discussion.However, as said by Sadia...i myself have been der done that..infact still'doin it" would be more appropriate (to people whom i keep sharing my dilemma with)
All said & done...marriage is something which has its own pro's and con's..i have seen women who are quite headstrong to keep their lives similar to their pre-marriage setup even after marraige
They are able to dominate their better half....demand them to take them to live seperately, or onsite, etc etc etc. Have even been able to indulge them in their hobbies, frinds circle....though many of them are blissfully unaware of the same is something i cannot digest !!!!
Worst case scenario's they decide to part ways just because the new relationship is far too demanding or changinmg their entire persona.
Anyways...girls who have been able to lure their husband's to listen to them (all the time....) are the real winners here....for the rest like us who keep adjusting to everything posed to us as we have seen our mothers'/sisters etc do the same...or waiting that atleast someday there will be sunshine.......may or maynot have the last laugh....only time will tell the same.
So it is all in your hands as how you want your life to be after marraige sriji....instead of waiting for the world to end after 2 yrs..i will say start practising on your negotiating , leading, and demanding skils!!!!!;)
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